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    (267): View more from Pennsylvania

    Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.

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    Replies (5) Good night (629) Bad night (152) Order T-Shirt
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    (484): View more from Pennsylvania

    wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.

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    Replies (1) Good night (352) Bad night (195) Order T-Shirt
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    (760): View more from California

    He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.

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    Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (143) Order T-Shirt
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    (801): View more from Utah

    Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.

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    Replies (5) Good night (534) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt
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    (682): View more from Texas

    I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.

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    Replies (10) Good night (702) Bad night (214) Order T-Shirt
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    (310): View more from California

    I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.

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    Replies (3) Good night (207) Bad night (301) Order T-Shirt
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    (402): View more from Nebraska

    i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.

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    Replies (2) Good night (388) Bad night (163) Order T-Shirt
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    (216): View more from Ohio

    We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.

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    Replies (2) Good night (468) Bad night (127) Order T-Shirt
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    (620): View more from Kansas

    When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.

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    Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (141) Order T-Shirt
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    (904): View more from Florida

    I want your cock.

    (910): View more from North Carolina

    All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd

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    Replies (11) Good night (649) Bad night (206)
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    (317): View more from Indiana

    Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING

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    Replies (6) Good night (731) Bad night (137) Order T-Shirt
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    (310): View more from California

    Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests

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    Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt
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    (312): View more from Illinois

    guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.

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    Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (136) Order T-Shirt
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    (334): View more from Alabama

    He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.

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    Replies (3) Good night (127) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt
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    (310): View more from California

    That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.

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    Replies (1) Good night (313) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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