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Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
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