Texts From Last Night

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(402): View more from Nebraska

We're going to catch a squirrel this summer

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(402): We're going to catch a squirrel this summer http://tfl.nu/ykra

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(443): View more from Maryland

No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..

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(443): No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man.. http://tfl.nu/sort

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(301): View more from Maryland

Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night

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(301): Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night http://tfl.nu/cuhc

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(614): View more from Ohio

The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??

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(614): The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!?? http://tfl.nu/bmvr

Replies (7) Good night (373) Bad night (1364)
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(407): View more from Florida

I'm pregnant.

(1-407): View more from Florida

The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???

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(407): I'm pregnant. (1-407): The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number??? http://tfl.nu/ivb7

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(520): View more from Arizona

I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.

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(520): I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me. http://tfl.nu/h8vm

Replies (5) Good night (1401) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.

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(724): I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed. http://tfl.nu/6i3f

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.

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(603): Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes. http://tfl.nu/6vyp

Replies (4) Good night (147) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
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(914): View more from New York

He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?

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(914): He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption? http://tfl.nu/z5ix

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.

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(202): I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning. http://tfl.nu/sdft

Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.

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(918): She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup. http://tfl.nu/rkhg

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?

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(860): I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that? http://tfl.nu/7o3y

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(916): View more from California

............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help

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(916): ............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help http://tfl.nu/sdm1

Replies (6) Good night (214) Bad night (1208)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.

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(309): Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night. http://tfl.nu/9na7

Replies (1) Good night (756) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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(718): View more from New York

Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.

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(718): Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it. http://tfl.nu/l6st

Replies (5) Good night (591) Bad night (330) Order T-Shirt

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