Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
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Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.