Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal