Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?