I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.