I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.