You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
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I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know