You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
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My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one