"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
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I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
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You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex