I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.