Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
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Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?