So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Send us your Text From Last Night!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..