You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS