"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.