The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks