I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Send us your Text From Last Night!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.