I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK