I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
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You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore