I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
