Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The power of my boobs compel you
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....