My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...