Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
