I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
