Worst Nights of All Time

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• (801): View more from Utah

  So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!

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• (646): View more from New York

  I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.

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• (61): View more from Australia

  I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again

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• (917): View more from New York City

  You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.

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• (916): View more from California

  Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me

  (916): View more from California

  They're the hard candy kind!

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.

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