I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people