ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.