69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.