Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom