this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n