Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.