I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?