dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You need a sexual gate keeper
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them