dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!