He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
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dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
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she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...