She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.