FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."