Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.