Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun