CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
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do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
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Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal