But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.