The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
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walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
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...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.