They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn