I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.