She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
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Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
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K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her