Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (213)

Last Night in California (213)

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(213): View more from California

just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week

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(213): just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week http://tfl.nu/o3oo

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my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop

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so that means christmas in space?

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imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi

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(781): my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop (213): so that means christmas in space? (781): imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi http://tfl.nu/5ssx

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Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.

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(213): Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans. http://tfl.nu/11hu

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dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.

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(213): dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring. http://tfl.nu/vd81

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Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.

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(213): Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain. http://tfl.nu/121u

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Her brother is deaf.

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no wonder she was so good with her hands

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(213): Her brother is deaf. (214): no wonder she was so good with her hands http://tfl.nu/zbzq

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i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.

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(213): i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now. http://tfl.nu/744a

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I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.

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(213): I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on. http://tfl.nu/rma0

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How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.

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(213): How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know. http://tfl.nu/sm0x

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the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.

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(213): the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad. http://tfl.nu/2doo

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Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.

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(213): Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now. http://tfl.nu/tt7k

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are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town

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well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT

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(213): are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town (1-213): well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT http://tfl.nu/kbwd

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she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies

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(213): she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies http://tfl.nu/m8ne

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I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'

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(213): I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered' http://tfl.nu/8qxk

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I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.

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(213): I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk. http://tfl.nu/xx5w

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Last Night in California (213)

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