i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.