are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
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he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
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How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.