His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."