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2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
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