i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"