i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
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