i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.