Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.