all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
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its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.