2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"