I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone