Last Night in Pennsylvania (570)

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  so you made the shocked face and they caught you.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  yup.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  he quoted the bible to break up with me

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  I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.

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  In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.

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