Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (570)

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  cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska

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  (570): cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska http://tfl.nu/incr
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  there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.

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  (570): there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line. http://tfl.nu/z4vy
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  I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.

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  (570): I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up. http://tfl.nu/kls9
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  I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried

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  (570): I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried http://tfl.nu/vdpu
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  I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson

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  (570): I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson http://tfl.nu/24on
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  don't read that magazine bro. I came in it

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  (570): don't read that magazine bro. I came in it http://tfl.nu/xo8s
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  I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys

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  (570): I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys http://tfl.nu/u1dh
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  I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.

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  (570): I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink. http://tfl.nu/sq0r
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  He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.

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  (570): He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help. http://tfl.nu/6hrq
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  Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

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  (570): Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger. http://tfl.nu/xwib
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  she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am

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  (570): she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am http://tfl.nu/vths
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  I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me

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  (570): I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me http://tfl.nu/l4ts
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  Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?

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  (570): Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips? http://tfl.nu/n3qx
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  He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.

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  (570): He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom. http://tfl.nu/2ayy
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  You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.

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  (570): You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol. http://tfl.nu/n8ii
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