we're blogging at a bar
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
