Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (570)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid. http://tfl.nu/ujtp
  Replies (16) Good night (501) Bad night (3149) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid. http://tfl.nu/hx89
  Replies (13) Good night (450) Bad night (3093) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned. http://tfl.nu/iuhj
  Replies (20) Good night (934) Bad night (2992) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today. http://tfl.nu/c736
  Replies (5) Good night (759) Bad night (2992) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country. http://tfl.nu/gt5r
  Replies (119) Good night (600) Bad night (2920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome. http://tfl.nu/qugg
  Replies (33) Good night (1553) Bad night (2759) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash http://tfl.nu/zmae
  Replies (3) Good night (592) Bad night (2729) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore. http://tfl.nu/xw8g
  Replies (17) Good night (1041) Bad night (2662) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards http://tfl.nu/nrtg
  Replies (11) Good night (697) Bad night (2584) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer http://tfl.nu/4zlr
  Replies (30) Good night (612) Bad night (2563) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands. http://tfl.nu/q7ak
  Replies (13) Good night (797) Bad night (2399) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem http://tfl.nu/c9xv
  Replies (14) Good night (577) Bad night (2392) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't know you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas. (330): I don't know you. http://tfl.nu/3wzi
  Replies (8) Good night (559) Bad night (2313)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar http://tfl.nu/q05v
  Replies (10) Good night (734) Bad night (2267) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen. http://tfl.nu/y5cy
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (2243) Order T-Shirt