Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (408)

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  (408): View more from California

  hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)

  (650): View more from California

  nah, i'm gonna grab some food

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  (408): hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;) (650): nah, i'm gonna grab some food http://tfl.nu/jz1a
  Replies (120) Good night (4307) Bad night (35618)
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  (408): View more from California

  She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...

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  (408): She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that. (717): I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother... http://tfl.nu/ehm3
  Replies (153) Good night (1891) Bad night (25535)
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  (408): View more from California

  worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum

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  (408): worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum http://tfl.nu/fisn
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  He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina

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  (408): He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina http://tfl.nu/ro7i
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  (408): View more from California

  It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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  (408): It's chlamydia! Thank God! http://tfl.nu/1hqj
  Replies (25) Good night (1443) Bad night (8228) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.

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  (408): He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize. http://tfl.nu/u4mt
  Replies (29) Good night (722) Bad night (6415) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."

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  (408): he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink." http://tfl.nu/8gq0
  Replies (25) Good night (3460) Bad night (6047) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?

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  (408): Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge? http://tfl.nu/3h8y
  Replies (67) Good night (2099) Bad night (6007) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me

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  (408): ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me http://tfl.nu/23c1
  Replies (18) Good night (1055) Bad night (5980) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  booty call

  (925): View more from California

  i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.

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  (408): booty call (925): i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy. http://tfl.nu/xuna
  Replies (60) Good night (1062) Bad night (5787)
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  (408): View more from California

  So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.

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  (408): So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed. http://tfl.nu/urd8
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  (408): View more from California

  i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.

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  (408): i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now. http://tfl.nu/4x4e
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  (408): View more from California

  she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again

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  (408): she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again http://tfl.nu/k557
  Replies (41) Good night (475) Bad night (5643) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.

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  (408): I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing. http://tfl.nu/86sf
  Replies (19) Good night (1288) Bad night (5540)
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  (408): View more from California

  we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can

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  (408): we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can http://tfl.nu/prvy
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