hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.