I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.