we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.