we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
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I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.