i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra