Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.